Holiday Card 2020
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Decoder for 2020 Year-in-Revue Holiday Card
- Ghostbusters. Because 2020 has been a year of supernatural worldwide disruptions, the comedy movie Ghostbuster (1984) is the perfect theme for our card this holiday season. The legendary farce follows the adventures of an eccentric team of savants who investigate unexplained findings and catch the menacing troublemakers responsible. It’s a story about abrupt unemployment, compelled entrepreneurship, resourcefulness, and always succeeding despite daunting odds. In our version of the story:
- The Squad. We find the patrol tracking down and combating hellions.
- Peter Vinkman (attorney Rob Buchanan) leads this ace squad. His playful approach keeps the dark work from ensnarling his soul. The breastplate of his jumper bears the State Bar of Michigan presidential seal because in 2020-21 he zooms virtually everywhere around the mitten state. His superpower is i.m.impotent.
- Raygun Stantz (paralegal Leslie Caliguri) is an expert troubleshooter with a childlike enthusiasm for the work and homing in on the deviants.
- Electra Spengler (nurse advisor Helen Hicks RN) is a medic addicted to science. Her favorite holiday is Pi Day on March 14, when math geeks everywhere recite its infinite digits (3.14159 . . . ), talk math, and eat pie.
- Winnie Zedderomre (legal intake specialist Caiti Hill) applied for our job advertisement in the wanted ads. After assurance the position came with a steady paycheck, she agreed to be on-camera talent and help with anything.
- Groupies. To the right of the corps is the receptionist Janine Melnitz (retired legal assistant Shelly Sichta), the mayor (attorney Jack Buchanan of Primerus fame), and patron Dana Barrett (office manager Janna VandeGriend).
- Everyone is Kung Flu Fighting. Since landing on the beach in Seattle back in February, this ogre from Wuhan, China – – The Stay-Gruff-Large-Yellow Man (also known as “Kung Flu”) – – is wreaking havoc here in the United States. No druggist has yet concocted an elixir to tame this social butterfly and coax him to sleep forever. Amazingly, we spot a celebrity perched on KF’s forehead: Pison Eu, the fly-drone who assisted the Vice President with answers during the October debate.
- Dissents Speak to a Future Age. In a passing glance, the athlete hovering over the balance ball looks like Dana Barrett’s neighbor, accountant Louis Tully. However, the lace collar is a dead giveaway for “The Notorious R.B.G.” Her passing in September rocketed one of the fastest nomination-to-confirmation of a justice in US history. At the garden celebration after confirmation, uninvited guest Kung Flu cuddled dozens of revealers wearing no mask including the President. Behind RBG, we see a girl playing with dolls. She activates a fuse on the back of one doll’s black robe and guides it to the adorable courthouse.
- Squirrel!!! Schooling unlike any ever known is underway in America. The virus is lurking around every corner like the malevolent Boo Radley waiting to jump from the shadows and attack any kid who dares walk into a classroom. So education has gone online, with faces arrayed in a Zoom gallery on the screen. Many are distracted. Looking through the windows, we see students perfecting the jump shot, catching a few winks, and other multi-tasking during class.
- Rarin’ to Go. We are all eager to see life return to normal soon. Perhaps by Easter! It’s a beautiful time, and a great day, as President Trump mentioned back in March. All we have to do now is pick the correct year.
- Stardust Formerly Known as Prince. In January, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle resigned from the British royal family. They gave up their paychecks and Brexited to a small surf shack in California, a 14,500 sq. ft. hovel in Santa Barbara. When the Sussex family entered the United States, Border Patrol followed protocol, separating and caging Little Archie. As we can see, these new immigrants are hardworking and capitalizing on the surging demand for toileting accessories.
- Jamie, Why You Cryin’? Electric guitar virtuoso Eddie Van Halen passed away in October.
- Corona Crash. Starting on February 20, global stock markets crashed. It was the fastest fall in history and the most devastating since the 1929 Crash. Panic buying and supply disruptions of the flu pandemic exacerbated the markets and mass hysteria ensued.
- Cool Cats and Kittens. Joe Exotic brought the nation together as we sheltered in place during the pandemic. The Netflix show had everything: tigers, rednecks, convicts, meth-fueled throuples, zoo cults, murder, an absurd presidential campaign, Walmart truckload of spoiled meat, a crazy cat lady, and so much more.
- Good Trouble Making. Civil rights giant US Rep. John Lewis passed away in July. He organized the 1963 March on Washington, led the 1965 march across the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, Alabama on Bloody Sunday, and helped end legalized racial segregation in the United States.
- Everything Negative is an Opportunity to Rise. Basketball star Kobe Bryant died in a January helicopter crash.
- Trapped in a Time Loop. It seems the pandemic has postponed life’s best celebrations. Most events supposed to happen this year will not happen until next year. There were no races, no festivals, no prizes, no changes. It’s as if we are trapped in a time loop, like Phil Connor of Groundhog Day, living in a year that doesn’t count.
- Follow the Money. When everyone was quarantined, fleets of blue cargo vans patrolled our streets and delivered essential provisions to virtually every household. Here, we see one of the smiling buggies making a delivery.
- Now I Gotta Cut Loose, Footloose. In August, a presidential executive order banned TiKTok, a Chinese-owned video app wildly popular with American tweens, claiming a national security threat. Here, we see a rebellious tween defying the ban.
- Your Huddled Masses Yearning to Breathe Free. In May, Minneapolis police killed an unarmed and handcuffed black man, George Floyd, during an arrest for allegedly passing a counterfeit $20 bill. A white police officer knelt on Floyd’s neck for over 8 and half minutes, causing his death. The incident was captured on video by witnesses and triggered weeks of worldwide peaceful protests against police brutality and racism. It also triggered urban riots and looting, often in luxury shopping districts. On this night, we see a looter scampering off with a case of toilet paper, a few broken windows, and a dark uniformed figure detaining Ms. Libertas of Liberty Island, New York.